a month and a half, and an entire continent older.

I can barely believe that the same person who posted that previous posting is the same person sitting here today. how the hell did that come out of me? sometimes even I am amazed, slightly ashamed, and maybe even a bit surprised at the power of my own writing. why was I so mad at him? I suppose I'll never know. it's vaguely reassuring, nonetheless, to know that whatever prompted me to unleash a tirade of hatred and bitterness towards *him* right before leaving the continent, was left way, way behind. if only there were some way to communicate that to him now. I have no doubt that, through the appropriately inappropriate channels, that random bulletin posting was somehow communicated to him, offhandedly and in summary if not directly in print. I don't regret what I wrote -- I meant every word of it, as it were; perhaps in not such passionate prose, but I feel more proud to have gotten it out than remorseful at having published it at all -- but I do regret the way things turned out between us, probably about 50% of that being my fault nevertheless.

and believe me, nothing tastes more bitter to the palate than regret. trust me on that one, I know. our entire relationship was based on it, from start to finish.

will write more later, when I can. hopefully will contain more optimistic subject matter.